Totally Awful Comics
Lame comics are easy to ignore and forget
about, but these ones are awful in such a
way that reading them causes me a deep
sort of pain that is hard to forget.
It's hurtful in a personal way to read them, and
this page will help ease the pain.

Incedentally, there are no links to these comics
because if there were, you'd go to them
and they'd get more hits.
Which is bad.

Incedentally, dont't take the hostility on this page seriously. It's meant more for humor than anything else.

Gene Catlow
This is an overblown pile of obnoxious bullshit in the style of a furry Ayn Rand novel. It's moralistic, self-righteous, and endlessly repetitive of points which are so trite and meaningless that I really feel like barfing. The plot involves a world in which furries are second-class citizens and those who are affected by this. Over and over one sees the evil racist being evil and perverse in some way, and then moralistically chastised, as if to continually put the audience into artificial righteousness indignation. This sort of treatment really annoys me. Although it is pleasing to see good win over evil, this comic is too pushy and shallow in its attempts to manipulate my emotions that it feels more like an advertisement than a story. The other thing that particularly bothers me is the characters' mindless, awed expressions as they accept the miracles that constantly happen.
Racism, sexism, homophobia, and the like are not evil, they are mistakes. They can of course lead to cruelty, which IS evil, but possibly the LEAST effective way to change a person's beliefs is to tell him that those beliefs are evil.
Hooking an audience by instilling self-righteousness into them is nasty trick of feeding them fluff that makes them feel good about themselves.
If you go to this comic, you will gawk in amazement at how completely fucked up the author is. It has the most appalling metaphysics I've ever seen. The comic is a series of episodes in the story of Jack, the personification of death, and the angels, sins, and mortals he interacts with. It's a rather obvious rip-off of the Sandman comics by Neal Gamain, except that the Sandman is based on many mythologies, and is good, whereas Jack is based entirely a perverted form of Christianity and sucks. It's absolutely sickening the glee he takes in condemning his evil characters to eternal torture in hell, and in general his love of the punishment of evil. Particularly disturbing is the fact that one's situation after death is based entirely on a rigid system of rules in which the evilness and goodness of a person's actions and thoughts are weighed against each other, and often, depending on the circumstances, people are placed where they obviously don't belong. That's very weird and oddly revolting. In addition, everything that happens feels like an intrusive attempt to manipulate my emotions. Everything appears to be contrived without any particular meaning, but just to have a calculated effect on the audience. It's just like Disney. What is the meaning of that? What is wrong with this guy?
The desire to take the world and put the good folk on one side and the evil folk on the other is a desire that allows people to do horrible things without a pained conscience, and allows tyrannical governments to come to power.
I once saw a note by the author on his site saying something to the effect that he had the "honor of putting the flag at half-mast" for the anniversary of September 11. I mean, WOW, I'm really fucking JEALOUS.
Both this and the previous comic appear in some sense to be derivatives of Dave Kelly's Living in Greytown, but while Greytown is my favorite on-line comic ever, these comics both annoy me.
Kit n Kay Boodle
This is the most anal-retentive porn imaginable. The author appears to have a fucking car rammed up his ass, because the whole comic is absolutely rigidly and unrelentingly repetitive. It has no jokes, no real plot, no creativity at all, just porn. It's also obnoxiously monogamous and heterosexual, like some sort of Victorian orgy.
The whole idea of porn is rather silly. Porn that takes itself seriously is dull porn whose life is a lie. Porn that makes fun of itself is more interesting and more fun!
Doesn't the author get really bored? It's the same thing over and over and over.

Penny Arcade
Depressing, nihilistic crap. Why do people like gaming comics? What could be more shallow???? KILL THIS COMIC!!!
Incidentally, I disliked this comic BEFORE it came out against furries, and personally, I don't care about it being against furries.

This comic is totally lame in every concievable way, and I wouldn't mention it here except for the fact that it is so fucking popular! Why do people read this crap? It's the most uncreative, unfunny, meaningless, conventional tripe imaginable. Also, any comic where the author obviously inserts himself as a snotty asshole with a ponytail that everyone mysteriously looks up to, and who sleeps with the token hot chick character is just shit.

Ronnie Raccoon
The author of this comic is my arch-nemisis. Now, his comic is ugly and stupid, no doubt, but I mainly hate him because he once sent me an obnoxious letter which explained why his comic was better than mine. Here are a few choice quotes.
"[Ronnie Raccoon is] NOT FURRY, NOR IS IT PORN. Please keep that in mind for future reference. It's not 'furry' because I abandoned the stupid fandom in disgust years ago, and it's not 'porn' because it's meant to be art."
Now, that makes no sense at all! That's such a total nonsequiter that Ryan must have total brain blockage not to see the silliness of it. Obviously, a story about anthropomorphic raccoons is furry just like a story with robots and aliens is science-fiction regardless of whether you like the fandom. In addition, porn and art are not mutually exclusive.
"Our comics only seem similar if you first look at it, but trust me, our comics have generally NOTHING in common. Your comic's man theme, apparently, is sex. My comic's main theme is life."
I mean, WOW, could you imagine saying anything as LAME as that? His comic's main theme is... LIFE!!! Not only is that about the most laughably snooty thing anyone's ever said to me, it's completely meaningless.
"I try not to make it so shallow as to do just sex jokes all the time, even though I'm aware sex jokes get the biggest rise out of people."
This is absurd. How are sex jokes shallow? Funny is funny, clever is clever, witty is witty.
"I forgive you though, because I realize with how little I update, the fact that there's no cast page on the site, and how dragged out the stories are, it's hard to fully grip what the comic's about without me telling you directly like I am now."
So now he's saying that his comic WOULD be good, if it didn't suck.
A 'great' theme does not create great art, nor does a 'lesser' theme produce lesser art. Talent and work are the only things that make art (or most anything else for that matter) great. Whether a talent has chosen a worthy theme is not so much an issue as whether it has chosen the right theme for itself.
This letter is so silly and pretentious that Ryan resembles a caricature who somehow escaped to real life.

What DON'T I hate about this comic? After at most the first WEEK the comic had exhausted itself of everything that was EVER going to happen. After that, endless moronic rehashing. I am further annoyed that, despite its title, it isn't sinful or controversial at all, it's just completely trite. If I wrote a comic called Sinfest, I'd start with Jesus raping Mary, and then have John the Baptist give him a blow job on the cross, and then have Jesus give a bunch of babies cancer. It really bothers me that an author could have such a distorted view of his own work to make something so lame and think it's controversial. It's scary to think that artists can do that.
How is it interesting to create flat, archetypical characters who respond in predictable, unsurprising ways to every situation?
This guy acts like a syndicate whore by making something so shallow you would only expect to see it in a newspaper. However, he is not syndicated. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE??